


Idiot

by seldomabsent



Category: Peaky Blinders (TV)
Genre: Crack, F/M, crackhead!alfie (reader is done with this man), disgusting bins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-15 18:42:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28568676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seldomabsent/pseuds/seldomabsent
Summary: When you’re forced to go on a mission with Alfie, you bitterly agree - you’re Tommy’s right hand, you have to keep the man in check after everything. But still, really?
Relationships: Alfie Solomons/Reader
Kudos: 9





	Idiot

Going on missions with Alfie was a nightmare. Between keeping the plan in mind with any troubles or issues happening and preventing yourself to ruin it by kicking the man - your self-control was put to the test. And when you entered Shelby's quarters, your eyes falling on Tommy's amused but sorry face, Alfie far behind with a whisky in hand - you already sighed before anything was said.

The plan was simple - you two had to go undercover in this busy bar to find some information about the new rival threatening Tommy’s public face and come back home. That's all - in, out. It should be the easiest job. The thought of spending a night with the Londonian bothered you but for Tommy, you agreed bitterly. You hadn't much to complain in the end, really, you were mostly pissed at yourself for actually liking him a bit too much. Alfie could be an asshole and rough on the edges but he was attentive and ready to make amends. And past the clear attraction you had for him for his pretty face and sass, his friendships with Tommy now steady was comforting. Nothing seemed to be able to cross them, yet you were cautious. Being Tommy's right-hand woman, you were basically family to him - and he to you. You weren't afraid to remind him to be careful. But you also knew to trust your best friend, so in the cold evening, you exited the car, bitterly passing your arm around Alfie's.

After the only thirty minutes drive, he already was on your nerves. From the remarks on your dressing to the way your hair was surrounding your face - he seemed to try to find what would pick you enough to break your poker face. Sure, dresses could be pretty, but never would you trade your silk pants and blouse to some dress to fit in when fights might fall on your noses. You had to be ready to kick if needed.

Leading you to the loud bar, Alfie ended up silent, an amused smile on his lips. His hat was usually hiding most of his eyes but you didn't miss the glances he sent your way. Sitting at the bar, you forced a smile on your lips.

"Are you gonna focus on our evening or what?" You asked as nonchalantly as possible, looking around the drunks and cheery people.

The bar was hot and annoyingly deafening. Bodies wouldn't stop dancing, moving and bumping into each other. Drinks kept turning and never did it seem to get empty. Breathing out deeply, you put your jacket on the back of your seat, pulling up your sleeves in search of relief from the hot temperature.

“If you could please stop rolling your shirt sleeves up, it’s terribly distracting. I'm not used to seeing a lad this pretty." He teased, bringing an annoying warmth in your belly.

"Just- Focus, Solomons. We're not here to have fun." You blankly reminded him, letting him order your drinks.

“Yes, ma’am.” He replied with a smirk, but you didn’t linger on it, turning your head in search of your target.

The night was gonna be long, you couldn’t help but complain internally - grabbing the drink put down for you. As your eyes narrowed the room, you took a sip out of it. Surprise hit you as you taste your favourite drink. You sent a weird look at your colleague for the night only to see him pointing at the wanted man - preventing you to comment on how did he knew your tastes.

“Found him. Lad seems pretty wasted.” Alfie commented with a laugh before crossing his arms. “Go on then, lass. I’m sure you can work yer magic.”

You would take a step behind if you weren’t already sit down, but your face clearly showed your annoyance. “I’m sorry?” You scoffed before pushing the hair out of your face. “First, I’m not an object to use for your goodwill and want of yours, second.. I can’t.”

Alfie frowned. “Why?”

You blattered for a second before saying the first excuse you could think off. “Cause he’s cute. I can’t talk to cute people, okay?” You faked a laugh, laying down against the seat’s back before Alfie’s amused face forced you to spill the beans. “I just, I don’t know how to flirt. It’s not natural to me. A gun and a kick are far more effective than showing legs and sweet-talking.”

The man stayed quiet for a second before non-effectively restraining a full laugh. Here you were, the scariest woman in Birmingham - sitting awkwardly and uneasy at the thought of trying a soft approach. You seemed to him so toughened up by whatever you had to live through to get where you were, you couldn't stop for a minute. Yet, here you And as sad it could be, he couldn't help but find it the funniest thing he heard in weeks.

"Stop it, dumbass, we're gonna attract attention!" You scolded him once more, noticing the weird looks from your enemy. Eyes meeting, you forced yourself away before your instinct to kick awaken. This was bad, you were attracting too much unwanted attention and your reaction clearly wasn't matching his. Wondering what to do between slapping him to cause a scene and dramatically leaving like this woman you saw do once or following with big false laughs - you didn't get time to do any of those. A man appeared between you, his arms on your seats preventing Alfie and you to get up.

"Hello, lad. Need a drink?" Alfie calmed down and asked the man hovering him now. He was as calm and blank as ever. Did he not see the frown on the man's face, nor his boss -and your target- insisting glare on you? You quickly looked around, calculating your chances to go for an escape or to go in a battle. The first would be the most clever and safest way to hide and for the rival gang not to link you to Tommy but at the same time, you didn't see yourself getting out of there with a simple run..

Feeling tension rise as Alfie started talking non-sense as usual, full in his biblical metaphors, you caught a glimpse of the men in the back standing, their hand reaching behind their backs or under her vests.. The man watching Alfie's frown deepen before finally, realization exploded in him. Well, fight if was then.

"They're Shelby's!"

Slamming your drinks in the man's face, he fell on his knee to hold his broken nose. You got up hands on the counter - kicking the man once more with your foot this time to push him down for good and without a second thought, grabbed Alfie's shirt before taking a sprint towards the front exit. Pushing through the mass of people, you enjoyed for the night to be lively as you started to lose the gang through the crowd. Alfie seemed pleased by it too though still mostly amused. Was he crazy? It was a wonder you could have for a long time but as car stopping abruptly in front of you forced you to stop and run another direction, you decided to try to survive first.

Cursing, you threw yourself in the first alley in sight, Alfie soon passing pass you to guide you. Limping, he was still amazingly fast. You almost started giving himself some credit to take leads until you ended up in a dead-end. Catching your breath, you stopped in pure confusion then annoyance.

"Seriously, Solomons!?" You sighed deeply, watching him search for another exit while all you could do was restraining yourself to kick him as footsteps got closer. "Great. No, perfect!"

Turning on your heels, you started, too, to search for an exit. Their shouts were getting clearer, just like their footsteps. Your heart beating faster and faster, you tried to prevent panic to flow over you. You were clearly outnumbered, you were two against a whole army. Or more, one and a half, you changed as you watched over Alfie weirdly postured - surely in quest of relief from his painful body.

"Awesome. I’m going to die, I’m going to die with an absolute idiot!” You spat at him, watching as lights were right around the corner of your blind alley before an arm dragged you back down.

A hand preventing your gasp of surprise to resonate through the empty alley, you fell into a sloppy stinky matter. But before you could shout in disgust at Alfie to drag you down in a garbage bin, he closed it - trapping you both in it, the sight of his smirking smile being the last thing you saw before the whole bin overwhelmed your senses.

From the horrific scent to the disgusting itch on your skin against all of the worst waste imaginable, you cursed your imagination. Yet, through the hygienic horror of your situation, you could hear the footsteps stopping, voices cursing in confusion. And when you thought nothing could be worse, as some steps came closer, Alfie's arm dragged you closed to him and deeper in the trash until you were head to toe in it, uncomfortably against the man and under the stink. The bin got opened, but quickly closed.

And when you were safe to get out, orders barking out to look elsewhere, you jumped out of the bin. Coughing your lungs out, you almost threw up a few times. From your new shoes to your styled hair, not an inch of you has been miraclely prevented from the trash. You were sure to throw out for good anything on you. The scent would stick literally to you for a few days at least, you were sure of it. Pissed, you turned to Alfie before finding comfort in the state he was too. At least, you were alive.

Smirking once more when he noticed you looking at him, you rolled your eyes.

"We won't talk about this ever again. Is that clear?" You ordered, not really asking. It only made Alfie smile deepen.

"I wouldn't dream of it, lass. It will be our little secret, right?"


End file.
